Journal

Self love has become more challenging the age of social media. It’s not surprising to believe that social media is both a blessing and a curse. In one light, we’re now more involved in each other’s lives than ever before. Being able to share thoughts and feelings online gives us a space to have meaningful and empowering conversations. Reading develops empathy for one another globally.

When you sit in your home and scrolling it allows you to learn about the world in a new way. Whether it’s about a new restaurant in the town next to yours or a beautiful small island off the coast of Africa, you gain knowledge you may not have learned before social media existed without it.

That is powerful beyond measure.

If you have spent even some time online, like most of us today have, you understand those feelings can (and often do) morph into negativity, comparing, and an overall lack of empathy. Everyone has an opinion, and when we internalize those feelings, our own sense of self suffers. It’s easy to forget that what we focus on matters.  

Social media and self-love can have a contentious relationship. On one hand, businesses have an easier time accessing a potential audience. This allows them to grow and expand their business. It helps your community grow, and building a supportive community is a key to self love. On the other hand, we can internalize a lot of unhealthy beliefs that are not ours to take on. 

So my challenge for you this year and beyond is to understand that we get to decide how to accept ourselves and continue to have an online presence. Yes, even in the business of boudoir.

Self Love Requires Filtering Your Feed for the Better

It’s difficult to miss the division occurring in our world today. Some people believe what they’re saying is fact and speak it with conviction. While others use the division to troll others, fueling further division from it. While others still hide their voices online because it’s more comfortable than adding to the noise and division. No matter where you fall on this spectrum of online behavior, the division sewn increases anxiety, doom, and blood pressure. It also perpetuates negative self talk and comparing yourself to others. Not something we believe in here at the GFE. Why? Because fuck perfect.

Uneducated and overly stern opinions from every angle are dangerous to our mental and physical health. It’s ok to step back and snooze family and friends from your daily feed that preach negativity (ahem, this is your permission. Just do it.). Setting boundaries online for your mental health is necessary, even when you still love the person you disagree with. The average person spends 141 minutes, or just over 2.5 hours, a day on social media. That’s a good chunk of our day dedicated to soaking up others’ content and even their opinions. 

It’s easy to build up shame with something about ourselves when comparing ourselves to others. New studies show that, for some of us, when we relate to a fictional character (or even a friend), our brains experience similar responses. That’s why some of us get visceral reactions from watching scary movies or even romcoms. Why would we want to take on the shame someone else holds and verbalizes as our own? 

It’s important to remember that while you can still love someone who feels differently from you, you are a whole person with your own thoughts and experiences. When recognizing behaviors that are learned by others and not from our own experiences, we can give ourselves space to express ourselves as we are. 

Self Love Includes Building a Timeline

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is a psychology idea based on human growth. On the bottom of the pyramid are psychological needs. Water, shelter, food, oxygen, sleep. Humans cannot survive without their basic needs being met, but at this level, it is survival. The second level is safety. I believe this is where many people are stuck, especially with social media. The third level is love and social, followed by esteem, cognitive, aesthetic, and self-actualization. 

Why does this matter in this article? When we are stuck in fight or flight, we cannot move beyond the need for safety. Social media often pressures us into this mode, not leaving room for love, esteem, cognition, aesthetic, or self actualization. When we stop giving our body reasons to react in fight or flight mode, we make more room for importance. The real things that build self-love and self-confidence. Two major facets that we love supporting you with here at the GFE.

Holding your own happiness in high regard builds self-love. No one can love you better than you. If you’re seeing things in your timeline that encourage you to be a better version of yourself rather than living on the edge of fear, you give your brain a break, a fighting chance. My desire is for you to feel your best. Build out your social media timelines in ways that feel inspiring. Because you are allowed to find happiness. This is your permission.

Self Love Involves Uncomplicating the Trouble

As with everything else in life, social media has its own set of community standards. In some ways, this insures people of all ages can be safe on the internet. But for businesses like The Girlfriend Experience in Pittsburgh, we learn our voices are being silenced. Even when the most important part about sharing our business online is to teach our clients to be present in their own lives. To find their own self love. 

It’s a complicated algorithm, and a feat that our business will endure in order to help you move beyond the safety rung on the Hierarchy of Needs. We’re building a community of rock solid clients who get to see themselves in a different light. Who are beautiful in every way. But our online aesthetic is changing a little. We aim to serve you and others like you, ready to embrace self love, by becoming more visible online. 

Yes, we are still taking incredible boudoir photographs, with or without clothing. But you’ll be seeing more of our beautiful studio and fewer images of clients in lingerie if social media continues to ban us from our followers’ feeds. We wouldn’t be who we are without you. And even if social media will put your family’s nasty opinions on women into your feed and will block you from the love we share for women in our posts, we are still fighting for you to find your own brand of self-love every single day.

Interested in exploring a session with us to help you build your own brand of self-love and confidence? Contact us today to get started.