Journal

The world is on fire.

Everyone is mad.

Everyone is scared.

Everyone is hurting.

Posting feels like the most insensitive thing for me to do in times like these.

This week has been hell.

I think I’ve been crying since March.

I cried the 9 months before that for personal reasons.

My sensitivity cup has runneth over.

I have thought every single day about closing our doors. To protect my staff. To protect myself. To protect my clients. 97% of clients have been so exceedingly understanding about rescheduling. The grace I have been given has been so appreciated. We were closed during the mandates. We reopened and we’ve taken extra precautions. And will continue to take extra precautions.

I make no qualms about who I am and what I do. I am not cheap. I am not uneducated. I am not a one-woman show. I have an office manager, an assistant, a stylist, a tech guy, an attorney, an accountant, a bookkeeper, an insurance agent…I can keep going. I am not your cousin with a camera who charges according to her whimsy. My images different because I am an investment. I have invested in myself to be able to bring you such an experience. Why would I want to close my doors? Because I’ve worked so many hours, I don’t even say bless you when one of my kids’ sneeze because I am too busy responding to emails. Because I worked so many hours I neglected my relationship. Because I worked so many hours to build a business that needs a team of many to keep it open and as the one person responsible for everyone else, I never actually get to turn the lights off and call it a day. And some days, it’s too much. With blessings comes responsibility. And some days I don’t want to be responsible for anything except myself and the two dudes who call me Mom.

The world is on fire and on the level, you don’t need nudes right now. What you need is the ability to hope. To see yourself in a positive light. To feel something other than anxiety and worry. You need to connect to yourself. You need to a reminder of who you are. If you think boudoir is about your tits and your ass, keep on keepin’ girlfriend. That 50 buck whimsy Groupon photographer can shoot your tits an ass but they can’t give you this experience. This is an experience. It’s not a photoshoot. This is a human connection. Intimate and vulnerable, with a side of photographs.