Journal

“ If you admit you have weak areas, you know what to work on, and you know what parts of you need more love and nurturing”

The notion of loving every part of yourself is in theory a great idea. Once you break it down, it’s a little illogical for us to do that. We always want to be better, change, or alter at least one thing about ourselves. That’s not a bad thing. Naturally, humans want to progress and grow. 

I have women who come to me for boudoir shoots thinking they will magically love their bodies that they’ve fought with for the past 25 years. Those are the women who dare me to show them that they are wrong. These types of boudoir clients test my every nerve. I can’t prove you wrong if you’re hell-bent on being right. You’ll never hear me preach body positivity. You’ll find me in the body neutrality camp. No one has ever kicked me out of bed for how I look naked (as if!) but I’ve had plenty of years where I prefer the lights off. I don’t think you can either hate yourself or love yourself to a point of returning to health but I do think you can work on accepting where you have a weakness, like being kinder to your body or appreciating your body and progressing forward from there.

There is a happy medium to this though. Sitting there and thinking you need to change every part of yourself is definitely going to cause you some mental damage. When identifying your weaknesses, also appreciate your strengths.  For every single thing, you want to work on, try to think about 3 things you value about yourself. It’s all about that happy balance. You need to appreciate how wonderful you are along with the many things you’ve accomplished. 

Tearing yourself apart is not going to give you any sort of benefit. It’s just going to darken your mood and view yourself in a sour light. No matter how you phrase it, the more shit-talking you do to yourself….. the more negative your perception is going to be when you think about yourself.

Coming into your boudoir session hopeful for what might happen is my best-case scenario. I can learn a lot about you just by listening to how you talk about yourself. I never have to ask you what you hate about your body, your body language will tell me all I need to know. I have a blog post about being allowed to like your body.

The change should not be focused on negativity, it’s a very positive way to chase after your goals and aspirations. It may take time, but life is not a race. If it’s something you can’t fix in 30 seconds, don’t stress about rushing the process. For example, if you want to change your posture…. Take that goal and readjust throughout your day. If you want to work on your skincare routine, take your time and focus on just making some progress. Like consistency. Master washing your face every night for 14 days before you add any other steps. Somethings you just can’t rush. And trying to rush them will cause you nothing but stress and anxiety.