Journal

I have pretty rad clients. They seem to get it even when I can’t really explain what it is that I/We do. Every business owner is supposed to have an elevator pitch. I just casually toss out, “I shoot naked women” and wait for them to take up interest or move on to the next person. If they are intrigued they will ask me more and if they are turned off, the conversation ends. I can’t explain this. I can find a tidy collection of words to give the concept a frame work for what my job title is but I am always at a loss for what we do. It really comes down to something a little different for every person. For some this really is just boudoir photos. For others this is an awakening that starts to change everything in their life. For our couples this is a reminder

Ahh where do I even start?

Okay, I guess the beginning. One random day I was sitting at work admiring my weight loss progress. I have been kicking ass at this point for like 6 months and had lost 60 plus pounds. I was in awe of my transformation, Brian was happy for me, but what the hell could I do to celebrate a 20 year in the making celebration that would be huge and empowering? Well my very first thought was I’m so damn happy that I’m going to get naked and get my picture taken. I asked Brian what he thought and he said go for it. I immediately performed a google search of boudoir photographers in the Pittsburgh area and it was like Jesus himself opened up heavens gates to the best damn national treasure this side of the Missippi. I found GFE. I found Steff. It took all of a jaw drop and two pictures on the website for me to book my shoot.

I noticed the couple’s session and it was hot as hell. I said “hell yes!” Brian said, “ hell no!” I told him, get your suit to the cleaners buddy because we’re doing it lol. He didn’t fight me too bad because deep down I really believed he wanted to do this as much as I did.

Everyone has a story, and we have ours and this is why this shoot was so important to us. 23 years ago I found the love of my life. I was 15 years old, he was 20 and just recently joined the Marine Corps. I had no idea what the hell I was getting into but I knew whatever it was, I didn’t want it to ever leave my life. Fast forward two years and we were married with a baby on the way.. fast forward many years and we have three children and a life that I never dreamed was possible for us.

We survived deployments, training exercises where he would be gone for some time, recruiting duty, family issues, and war. We had been through it but through it all we never once gave up.

In 2017 I had a health scare that probably shook Brian more than it did me. I had 13 tumors in my uterus that we had no other option than for me to have a hysterectomy. I was devastated. I felt like I was going to be less of a woman somehow. What if we wanted more kids (what the actual fuck was I thinking? I was emotional is all) What was going to change about me? Would I still feel like a woman? Would I still be sexy to him? Would I still be to myself?

I gained a lot of weight after that surgery on top of what I already weighed after having my son later in life. I was devastated about myself. What I saw in the mirror was disgusting and my heart was broken that I lost hope that I would ever be sexually attractive again.

Brian and I were talking and I said I wish I could be perfect for you, and he said to me, “Tiff, what is perfect?” I could not answer that. I had no idea how to answer him. With tears in my eyes and a half smile I looked at him and said, “fuck perfect!” And that had been my motto ever since.

Perfect is a word. I am a woman and I have my bumps and scrapes, and I have a body that tells my story. I decided once again to try to get serious about my health and lose weight. I did it. I am not in the best shape I could be in, but I am working hard because I made progress and progress gave me hope to keep going and hope brought dedication and dedication brought results.

23 years this man has found me beautiful always and I wanted to see myself in his eyes. This is why I needed Steff. I needed to finally see me the way he has always seen me, and girrrrrl, did I.

Steff gave us one of the best memories we will ever share together. I never had another woman in bed with my husband and I before but If I had to ever pick one, it would be Steff. She made us laugh. Omg did we laugh. Brian’s shirt, whispering and ruining moments, Brian saying something uncomfortably awkward. She made us feel comfortable that I actually was happy to have her in “our bed.” Dessa made me look like a god damn goddess that even I wanted to worship at my reveal. Jess was so sweet and seemed to like all of our photos as much as we did.

The whole experience from beginning to end was exciting for both Brian and myself. Our pictures are priceless. We never bought wedding photos or really any photos so it was special to us to have this and get all of them. They were all so beautiful and truly will be a work of art that we will enjoy the rest of our lives.

Now to find the perfect one for over the fireplace.

Thank you to all of the staff at GFE for welcoming us and making strangers seem like friends. We will do it again.