*******Disclaimer! Even though the headline is dramatic, I want to be clear that she had an insanely awesome shoot. She did not ruin her shoot by any stretch of the imagination! She did everything right! So can you!
This might ruffle some feathers, I am ok with that.
A shitty attitude
Believe me, people do show up with a shitty attitude. Shitty attitudes aren't nerves. The main difference between a shitty attitude and regular ol' nerves, is hope. Nervous clients are hopeful. They want the full experience. Nervous clients are invested in the outcome and want nothing more than to see themselves in photographs and for once, to love them! Shitty clients hold some pretty deep insecurities that they are looking for me to prove wrong. But I can't. A shitty client is daring us to tell her she is wrong. A nervous client already realizes that what she sees or thinks about herself might not be authentic and is HOPEFUL about the outcome. A shitty client thinks she knows what she is doing. A nervous client knows she knows nothing about what is about to happen. A shitty client might be doing this for her partner. A nervous client is doing this for herself and her partner. A shitty client thinks she is doing me a favor by walking through my door. A nervous client is hopeful this experience will change her. We are living in the time of the motivational meme y'all. So what I am about to say will be familiar and more importantly you will understand; Your vibe determines your tribe. Please don't come to us with a shitty attitude. I check out the second you walk through the door with your bad energy. I can feel your hope from a mile away and I will give you every little bit of my abilities. Dessa spends her entire time 2 inches from your heart and your head, if I haven't picked up on it, she will. A shitty attitude is a waste of your time. Come with an open heart and an open mind and be open to creation! I want to collaborate with you not play tug of war.
2. Telling me what looks best on you
Pointing out what images you don't care for and all the reasons why. What we see in the mirror is not an accurate representation of what we look like at all in any other point in our day other than what we look like when we look like in the mirror. Yet, we let that reflection dictate how we feel, how we function, how we move.......and how we do or do not want our photographers to photograph us. I have had clients scroll through our 'gram and point out why certain shots won't work for her. I will audibly roll my eyes. Yep, you will here them knock against the back of my head. You only see what you see in the mirror. You partner sees you in so many amazing ways that you will never even be able to grasp. I can see you that way. So I can show you what he sees. If you don't love what you see in the mirror, why would you would trust that image to be best there is? You've never seen yourself through the eyes of your partner when you roll over in the morning. You've never seen your bumbum when you are climbing into bed.........
3. Talking but not listening-moving but not responding
I don't mean in the classroom sense of the word. I am going to struggle to explain this but hang in there with me. I hope this makes sense in the end. I am your one stop shop photographer. I model for you, I verbally direct, I demonstrate the facial expression, I coach you through your entire session. If you have ever taken a yoga class, you have been implored to set your intention. This is the same idea. The flow is also very similar. You will ride the wave with me. In order to do that, you must listen more than you talk, you must not just move but respond to my words. As I demonstrate what the pose you will be in and as I verbally direct you through and I emote for you, your body language is mimicking mine, your face is copying mine. I move myself more than I will move you so there will be conversation points during our session but that isn't what I am talking about. I love talking to my clients!! I mean lot's of "ok's, got it's, yeps....". For example,
Me--I am going to have you bring your right arm across your body, let your fingers graze your hip...... You--OK! Me--take a deep breath.....You--(cutting me off) OK!
I've not completed my direction, you've not actually performed what was directed......you were busy talking but not responding. The response is in the demonstration of the followed direction. This makes your session more smooth, produces more consistent photographs, more dynamic images. Every word that is being said and physical direction has a purpose; an intention. I do not need affirmation that you heard me with a verbal "Ok!", I need to see you moving and breathing with the directions being given.
4. Bad wardrobe
I don't really think there is wrong wardrobe. I want you to feel pumped to wear what you bring but fit is a big big deal. One size too big is always better than too small. Shape is more important than color. Fit matters more than style. If something feels good on your body, you will will move with more confidence and perform with more ease than something that has to be constantly readjusted. Just because you own it doesn't mean it you love it. Better to bring less wardrobe that you love than a bunch of items you are lukewarm about.
We provide so much info about getting ready for your shoot that I don't encounter these types of situations often but when I do, I feel like I have these clients down. I do not want to affirm your insecurities by tiptoeing around your rules, your attitude, your choices etc. I do however want to show you what possibility looks like when you let your walls down and you trust us.