The past several years I have written a year end review. Shared some unseen boudoir images and waxed poetic about what the year meant to me. Not that I don't have plenty to wane on about, I wanted to try something a little different. I do plan on reminiscing about all that 2017 held and all the beautiful women I have met, in our private Facebook group so I can share even more photos and even more stories. If you aren't a member yet, come join.
Being photographed is one of those things us non celebrities, may never get used to. Clients ask me all the time if I have every had my own boudoir experience. Until this year, the answer to that was, "Not really." I carried a lot of guilt about that. I wasn't walking the the walk.I wasn't ready to see how someone else saw me. I wasn't ready to face body issues. I wasn't prepared to be vulnerable. I wasn't willing to take the risk. I have been asked by other photographers if they could photograph me and up until this past year, the answer has always been, "No." Even though I was flattered and very curious. I wasn't mentally prepared to see myself from the outside. ....
"my weight goes up and down all week all the time, after i get my braces off, my face swells when I get stressed, my skin is sad from having my kids, I can't find anything I want to wear, nothing looks good on me, I don't know why someone would want to photograph me, what if the photos are awful, I don't have anyone to give the photos to"... I had all these stories I was telling myself.
Then one day... I still had all those stories. I also had a realization. If not now.....literally the youngest, I will ever be....when? If I don't at least try, will I regret it? How can I hold the hands of my clients and not understand what she is going through on the day she comes to me? I am an empath and this shit just didn't sit well with me. So I decided to start saying yes more, but not yes to everyone. I still wanted to feel in control. I want photos to feel like a collaboration whether I am the model or the photographer and this my goal for my clients as well.
I am sharing a little over a year's worth of photos I have had taken by other artists. All at different places in my life, every single session at a different weight (something that would have been a big reason for me to say no previously), some without makeup and hair.....
All so I can confidently say that I understand exactly how you are feeling....
The above photos were taken by Dessa. God how talented she is. This was the start of it all. I asked her to take these. We work so closely and she understands me and the way I work that these images are the closest thing I could image to what it would be like, if I were the photographer.
Ahhhhh Denise Birdsong of Modern Love Photography. A little concept shoot that was years in the making and over before I knew it. Hands down, an enormous honor for me. I knew this could be a once in a life time opportunity and I would not tell her no know no matter how far she pushed me. When she asks if she can tape your nipples, you don't tell Denise no.
Teri Hofford Photography is a goddamned force to be reckoned with if you are a photographer you know her name. She came to stay with me this summer along with our gal pa, Paige Rynberg of Fearlessly You Boudoir. We bounced all over the studio, came to my house and ended the afternoon under the hose in my backyard. What she can create in the shortest amount of time is staggering.
The GFE Boudoir. ;) Yes, selfies!! Along with Paige and Teri we run a monthly challenge with one another where we shoot something chosen by someone else or from a collective list of off kilter ideas. Boudoir selfie are no joke. As much as I wanted control, being the model and the eyes didn't work as well as I had hoped. With no makeup and no hair styling, in my usual busted ass jeans, I tried to make some lifestyle boudoir happen at a home. If you want to see the rest of the series and the all the images from each of us, visit here https://www.terihoffordphotography.com/2017/12/08/manties3-girls-1-challenge-winnipeg-boudoir-photographer/