It is that time of the year again. The time of the year where I get in front of the camera. I am not immune to the intimidation factor of being photographed. I may always be 2 feet away from a camera at all times but that doesn't mean I love to be photographed. I force myself to be photographed because I have to understand, I have to empathize with you. I am a hand holder and boudoir photography involves a tremendous amount of guidance. Just because I can guide doesn't mean I can be guided. I like to think I follow directions well but there are times when I have to find a new way to lead a client into a pose because what I am saying isn't doing the trick even coupled with demonstration, I may have to find my way to reach my client where she is to take her where she needs to be; in these circumstances I need hear the directions and see if I can get there.
I hadn't washed my hair in a week. I looked at my lingerie chest and wasn't feeling lingerie ready, I'd had a late night run in with some carbs. I had to be at the studio in twenty minutes. What in the hell was I going to wear? I love this dress from Forever 21. I have it in every color and fabric. When I discuss wardrobe I tell my clients not to over think it. I want you to bring stuff you love but it doesn't have to be all bra and panty sets, actually, please don't bring JUST bra and panty sets. I love this dress and I happen to feel damn good in it. Made sense to pack it. I knew I had this corset at the studio, I bought it to wear for a little modeling thing I did years ago, it's been hanging on a hanger for 2 years now. Every clients says she wants to wear it but it never really works out. I sat in the makeup chair and told Dessa to do whatever. Really whatever. Go heavy, I don't care. I love makeup but don't go this heavy on myself so why not now? I just felt very anxious. I wanted to do it, but I wanted it to be over. I didn't want to suck, I wanted the photos to be great but I wasn't feeling my best.....it was a sick cycle of negative self talk the whole time while getting my face made up. Not being in control was making me even more nervous. I tossed on my dress and tied my hair up with a makeup brush and tried my best to unattached from my expectations.
I am super happy with the results! I didn't over think it. I wore something I felt good about myself in, even though it isn't lingerie; I felt like it was a pretty sexy get up! Dessa worked her magic with my face and really did an excellent job when I set the camera to do what I wanted and let her direct the rest and choose which moments she wanted to capture. Do what you can to prepare for your boudoir shoot, set your intention and detach from the expectation.