Boudoir is Not Porn: Handle Criticism with Ease

Boudoir Photography

sex toy boudoir photography

Some say art is subjective and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The key to interpretation is through the viewer’s lens, but sometimes the viewer gets it inaccurate. Boudoir photography is more than just a snapped nude you send to your boyfriend or post on the internet. Luxury boudoir levels up the experience, where the art isn’t just intimate photos but the subject of the photo itself, which is you. 

Let’s say you’ve had The Girlfriend Experience and left our studio feeling the glorious reign of self-confidence and elation. You receive your photographs and decide to show your best friend before gifting the pictures to your significant other. After all, you’ve discussed body positivity with your friends before, so you know your friend will be supportive. Instead, they comment about your expensive ‘porn’ experience. 

Suddenly, the elation you felt is tarnished, the lens you viewed your own experience through sours. Yet criticism is a hard pill to swallow. If criticism is your biggest fear of stepping into your experience, then have no fear. We are here to guide and support you. We’ll cover how to navigate criticism when choosing a boudoir experience.

Boudoir is Not Porn

It’s a common misconception that boudoir photography is simply fancy pornography, taken and expected to remain hidden in the back of your closet. It’s a secret that you hope your kids or friends never find. But boudoir photography captures something porn often misses–confidence and intimacy.

The differences are plentiful, but the most obvious is the intent. For pornography, the intention is arousal with the end goal of pleasurable ecstasy. The subjects involved often don’t matter. The story and the style also don’t typically matter. Yet, according to M.D. Stephen Snyder, porn is exciting for humans because in days long past, sharing partners was the key to survival. 

The word boudoir means a woman’s bedroom or closet. The French word romanticizes the common dressing room, but in history, men were left guessing what happened in the woman’s private space. Boudoir photography was born from intimacy and sensuality. A peek into what actually happens in a woman’s dressing room or bedroom. She luxuriates on soft furnishings, tries on clothing, and is allowed a reprieve from her normal world. The intention is not sexual but sensual and intimate. 

How to Brush Off Criticism

The criticism is in the back of your mind. You’re feeling insecure about your decision and questioning if you should have kept the experience in private. Or maybe you got angry and said some hurtful things in response, and now you’re stewing. Those are all normal reactions to criticism. 

It’s human nature to feel criticism and value it more than praise. There are a plethora of ways to diffuse a critical situation, but the most effective for racy photographs are: 

  1. Listen to understand. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you had intimate photos taken. Maybe their concern is based on fear. Maybe your friend has some valid concerns. 
  2. Stay calm. It’s the worst thing to say to someone when they’re feeling cornered, but trust me. Take a breath and collect yourself. 
  3. Consider the source. Is this a stranger or a person you love? The criticism may have been delivered harshly, but the intention may have been pure. If it’s a stranger, their opinion has no merit in your life, anyway. 
  4. Give yourself permission to remember what the experience was like for you. Did you feel a confidence boost? Pride? Did you fall a little more in love with your own body? Then ask yourself if feeling good for yourself is less valid than your friend’s criticism. The answer is no.
  5. Finally, consider your response. Do you want to ease their concerns because they want to ensure your privacy? Or do you choose to let it go because their opinions are valid to them but don’t apply to you? 

In the end, the experience helps you find yourself. To build your confidence and help you get in touch with your divine feminine. Of course, you don’t even need to share with a single person outside of our studio that you had the experience. But we hope when you walk away feeling the best you’ve ever felt about your body, criticism does not derail your pride. You always deserve to feel good in your own body.