Journal

If you aren’t sure how to feel more empowered, just ask your friends how they feel about it. Yes, really. Chances are they will have opinions, and you may be surprised how their opinions differ from yours. For many, nudity is empowering unless it’s cloaked in shame and societal expectations. Letting go of your inhibitions can help you find your control, but once you’ve embraced your Divine Feminine, the confidence you’ve always wanted is at your disposal.

If getting vulnerable makes your skin itchy, you might ask yourself how it’s empowering. How do you keep control when you’re undressed around complete strangers? And how on earth does wearing your birthday suit (or sometimes lingerie) for boudoir photographs make you feel more alive?

To stop the shame cycle, we recommend three steps to feel more comfortable in your birthday suit.

One: Breaking the Cycle of Negative Self-Esteem

As Queen Bey can attest, feeling yourself is influential. It’s not about sexual prowess or the male gaze–being comfortable in your own skin is the greatest act of rebellion and a powerful tool for self-esteem. Years ago, being confident was misconstrued as nasty or shameful. But today, self-confidence is sexy, no longer limiting a person to being unlikeable or egotistical.  

It’s no secret that feminine-presenting people are inundated with propaganda encouraging a negative self-image. Even women who run companies or nations are discredited for the power they wield. So with all the naysayers anyway, why not lean into it with full force?

Step one to break the cycle of negative self-esteem is acknowledging when your shame started. If a person told you to feel shame, ask yourself why they felt that way. Shame surrounding bodies has lasted generations, and maybe their thoughts about modesty and purity were not their own thoughts, but opinions throughout generations. 

Modesty and purity have roots in misogyny, and remember, loving your body doesn’t have to include appeasing the male gaze. If your opinion is the only one that matters, you’re already starting strong.

Two: Control Your Narrative and Climate

Maybe you’ve had children, your weight fluctuates, or you have scars and dimples and rolls. Your inner voice is a critic, immediately focusing on perceived imperfections. Body dysmorphia is an actual disorder affecting 1 in 50 people. Not every person who’s self-conscious has body dysmorphia, but it’s important to acknowledge because your mind and body talk to each other.

Assuming you do not have body dysmorphia, we’ll talk about how to control your narrative. The way you talk to yourself when you’re feeling down is a good place to start. Do you pick at the imperfection? Is it the first thing you see when you look at a photo of yourself or a mirror?

Do you also see brands that use models who have scars, plus size bodies, dimples, etc? When you see their photographs, is your first thought mean? Or does it make you wish you had that kind of confidence? 

Studies show the way we speak to ourselves matters. When you catch yourself picking apart a scar or a body roll, ask yourself how your body survived. For instance, someone with a burn scar can look at the evidence and see something unappealing because it looks different. Or they can control the narrative: My body looks different now, and I am still beautiful.

Three: Don’t Take Yourself So Seriously

If you’re anything like me, you’re probably an overthinker. It’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes overthinking can help process information and come to conclusions with lots of evidence. However, if you’re already feeling self-conscious and talking poorly about yourself, the conclusion you come to can be skewed. 

Nudity is empowering for multiple reasons. The freedom you will feel when the shame of being naked is absolved is beyond measure. You won’t be in a hurry to get dressed after a shower or feel ashamed for sleeping nude. You can stand in front of a mirror without feeling sweaty and confined by clothing. 

Nudity is also powerful. It’s in each curve, divot, pimple and hair; the uniqueness that makes you genuinely yourself. It’s ok to feel comfortable in your skin. We encourage you to take a few minutes to enjoy the freedom of being unconfined when you’re undressed. Maybe lie in bed and read an article. We can help when you are ready to see what the world sees.